Twelve years ago (2/4/2012) I gave myself my last shot of insulin (Lantus, daily 72 units). This is an anniversary I’m still thrilled to celebrate. It represents a huge mental shift, followed by action and tons of hard work and the start of life I never, ever dreamed possible. 

The past 12 years of my life have been a huge gift. One that I might not have been here to enjoy if I hadn’t changed my ways…

No hyperbole.

When I woke up and I didn’t have to take a shot – that slight shift in a decades long morning routine – still brings back all the happy/sappy feels 12 years later. Hope, joy, empowerment, possabilities, fearlessness… All of that seemed to magically flood into my life when the shots went away. It was a monumental moment cause I had spent more than a solid year pretty much doing what a) they said couldn’t be done and b) had done it advocating for myself and fighting against a health care system that said it should NOT be done the way I did it. (Blog detailing it here…)

My friend Jeff Sherman said on that day ‘We are all watching you save your own damn life.’ Those words have stuck with me.

(For the record, it is WAY more common now to not use insulin so early in a type 2 diabetes diagnosis; back when I was diagnosed and being treated it was waaaayyyy more standard and not really something you could opt-out of… If you’re Type 2 and ANYONE talks about putting you on insulin without trying other options FIRST; I would strongly encourage you to get a second opinion…)

So 2/4 remains a personal independence day celebration while also remaining a big ol’ middle finger to the ones who said that ‘can’t/shouldn’t/won’t’ work the way I was doing it. I’m totally OK with it being both.

Today? If you’ve read my blog you know I am back on some baseline diabetes meds. The last 5 years have had profound moments of fear and sadness around my health. Menopause. Yowza. I mean I have remained active, eating low-carb/low-insulin and doing EVERYTHING I did once-upon-a-time to lose 200 pounds, reverse type 2 diabetes and get off the meds. NOTHING works the same… Starting back in 2019; things kept going in the wrong direction no matter what I did. Glucose/blood numbers got wonky, weight crept back on, fatigue was near-impossible, insomnia was crippling… Turns out perimenopause was super-duper-hellishly not fun for me. 1/10 do NOT recommend. For reals. I’m now fully in menopause and life is becoming a little more sane and understandable – but those last 4-5 years were brutal. Some women become more insulin resistance with the hormonal shifts that signify peri/menopause/post-menopause. I entered into this life phase already metabolically deranged. (Medical term — I swear…) I am one of those women whose body hated the hormonal changes and resulting stress. Everything I did to get to a new health status and new life back in 2011 went out the window. I was left confused, demoralized and struggling. Menopause, for real… It was not easy for me. I hate that I am back on meds after working so hard to get off of all of them. Yet I LOVE MY LIFE and I have to grudgingly admit that the meds are helping me manage damage/symptoms while I work to get some of the lifestyle pieces back into a new place/phase in my life. 

12 years later and I am now working to get off of meds again. 

I did it once. I can do it again. I am giving it all I’ve got.

Back to the celebration part…

Even with new meds on board it in no way takes away from the fact that back in 2011 I wanted off insulin, I wanted to reclaim my health. I SPENT MORE THAN A YEAR WORKING MY BUTT OFF AND DID IT. I freaking did it.

Because of that battle 12 years ago; I’m here today to keep enjoying and living each.and.every.day.

What does the annual ‘gave the Sharps container the boot’ anniversary look like? It doesn’t involve cake. (Sorry that joke just doesn’t get old.) I will savor a cup of black coffee and then get out to my favorite forest to greet the sun with a morning run/hike with my new hip.

It never leaves my mind that none of this would be happening in my life had I not worked so, so hard to get off insulin 12+ years ago… (Me thanking the past version of me that was so f*&^ing stubborn and persistent.) I’ve met some of the most amazing people, been places I didn’t know were real and had experiences that I never dreamed of; all in the last 12 years. Getting off insulin GAVE ME MORE LIFE in so many ways. 

Yup I get sappy and teary and grateful on 2/4.

Nothing about this is easy or linear. If you’re reading this and wondering if the battle is worth it, the dietary changes seem insurmountable, having to often be aggressive with health care providers to be HEARD is daunting, and moving more sounds painful and impossible…

IT IS SO WORTH IT.

I promise you that it is so damn worth it. 

YOU ARE SO WORTH IT.