I usually have an apple stashed in my office, car, purse… Within arm’s reach. 🙂 Photo credit to Dr. Greg Thompson; hands down one of the best teacher-educators on the planet. He retires the end of this year.
‘What ONE piece of advice do you have for chronic ‘dieters’ who really, really want to be successful this time around?’
LEARN what HUNGER really feels like.
I was brutally honest with myself when I started this journey 3+ years ago. I knew that I had a really big problem, a really unhealthy relationship with food. And that I was going to be trying to stabilize blood sugars, get off of insulin, lose weight AND trying to find answers to some complicated food issues. ALL at the same time.
I like to keep things interesting.
I knew that perhaps my biggest hurdle was that I fundamentally did not understand hunger.
My body had NOT BEEN HUNGRY in years. I didn’t know the feeling.
I was so, so used to simply eating because it was mealtime, or I passed the frig, or it was in front of me, or because it was a special occasion, or…
And I’m not alone. In any conversation with folks who have lots to lose, at some point our conversation will come around to hunger. And the ways we ignore it, abuse it, refuse to allow it to happen…
I had to figure out what it meant to be hungry if I was EVER going to get a handle on overeating.
I was pretty sure that the only way to have long-term success was going to be tied to whether I could feel, understand and respond to hunger.
So I came up with a trick that would a) teach me to understand what hunger was and b) wouldn’t mess too badly with my blood sugar.
Apples.
Honeycrisp apples to be specific.
I put a BUCKET of apples in the fridge.
And I made a deal with myself…
Anytime I thought I was hungry and it really didn’t make sense for me to be hungry (had just eaten lunch, had eaten most of my calories for the day, etc…) I could eat an apple.
And only an apple.
IF I was indeed hungry enough to eat an apple… Then I was probably legitimately hungry.
IF I was NOT hungry enough to eat an apple… Then I was simply cruising for food out of HABIT or bored or emotions or…. I would eat nothing.
If I was NOT hungry enough to eat an apple — I was not hungry.
I used apples to train myself to at least STOP and recognize if what I was experiencing was TRUE hunger.
The worst day I had? I ate 6 apples. 🙂
I had days where I just couldn’t tell if I was hungry or mentally craving food/comfort/company. So I ate apples. Burden/guilt free… I was trying to teach myself to learn something new, so I gave myself permission to eat as many apples as needed.
And BOY did I learn. And man alive did I eat a lot of apples those first few months. 🙂
Just this week I had to buy another big ol’ bag of apples and put it front-and-center in the fridge to REMIND me to listen to my hunger. And not just eat because I’m bored or tired or frustrated or lazy.
I don’t think we are ever done learning.
And as much as you do NOT want to hear this… I don’t know that we — if we have a food addiction/issues/overeat — are EVER off the hook. We have to stay vigilant about not letting the bad behaviors creep back in.
Which is why there is a big bag of apples in my fridge even after 3+ years on this journey.
I find it ironic and fun that while we give apples to teachers as gifts, in my case APPLES have BEEN my teachers. 🙂
Sunrise. Day at a time. (Photo credit; Jeff Sherman)
I was at an event for work and a woman who hadn’t seen me in a while walked up to me during the reception;
‘I’m just going to follow you aroundand watch what you eat. I need to lose some weight. Maybe I can learn from you.’
Confession?
Nothing makes me more self conscious than knowing someone is watching or judging what I eat.
I spent a lifetime trying to hide the true bulk of what I was really consuming. And I got REALLY good at making sure no single person had the whole picture.
I mean, c’mon… I KNOW I was WEARING my poor eating habits for the whole world to see. But I had pretty solidly convinced myself I was hiding things well enough to deflect major attention.
Insecurities run deep and old habits die hard. Even now, I will still find ways to skip social events that involve food if at all possible.
Throw into this particular awkward ‘party’ mix that I had just done a LONG run. What could that possibly have to do with food you wonder??! I was eating anything and everything that was not nailed down. I had burned 1,000+ calories running that morning and I was freaking HUNGRY.
And someone wanted to watch me eat?! Egad…
So, I promised her that I would share what I used to eat compared to what I eat these days. She promised to stop following me around. 🙂
So how do you get to be almost 400 pounds and a type 2 diabetic?
Here’s how: I would consume roughly 3,500-5,000 calories on any given day of fast food, carbs and highly processed foods. I was not exercising. This was how I spent the 1990’s and early 2000’s.
A fairly typical day looked like.
Breakfast: McDonalds Sausage biscuit, hash browns, large diet coke
Snack: Chips, large diet Dr. Pepper
Lunch: Qdoba nachos loaded, large diet coke
Snack: Candy or more chips, large diet Dr. Pepper
Pre-dinner snack: 2 McDonald’s cheeseburgers, large fries, large diet coke.
Dinner: Chicken enchilada casserole, rice and beans, chips and salsa
Snack: Ben and Jerry’s Phish Food ice cream
Unbelievable that someone could eat that poorly, that much? I WISH I was making this stuff up… But I really did eat all that stuff. Daily.
I have witnesses. Hell, I have PROOF.
My weight and a type 2 (T2) diabetes diagnosis are confirmation that this was pretty typical fare for me. FOR YEARS.
You don’t just suddenly wake up fat.
You actually have to work pretty hard to get there…
Starting in the early 2000’s, with my new T2 diagnosis, I spent about 8 years settling into a diabetic diet. Portions got smaller. I worked to glean out refined and overt sugar. I focused on a low-carb diet. I lost about 85 pounds during this time period and increased my walking over the years. It was NOT perfect, but it was a HUGE improvement.
July 2011 rolled around and I decided I was going to build a new and different lifestyle. I wanted to be healthy.
And then a WHOLE lot of additional changes have happened in the past 3+ years.
So, what does a day look like NOW?!
I consume about 1,500 – 2,100 calories a day; depending on what kind of exercise I’m doing. I try to work out 6 days a week. I eat a plant based diet.
A typical day pulled from the last month’s food journal:
We talked about the mental aspects of obesity and exercise…
What about the PHYSICAL side of this battle?
I’m 5’7″ and weighed 392 pounds at my heaviest.
Does not take much imagination to fathom that I was physically not able to move well because of my size.
Physical aspects of being obese and active come up in conversations with people who know me and are facing triple-digit weight loss.
Complete strangers who hear about my journey have engaged me in blunt, instantly-intimate, humbling conversations as well. ‘I sweat more than any human on the planet and you wouldn’t believe the problems it causes…’ (I would) or ‘I can’t put on shoes that tie because I can’t reach my feet”. I feel like I have heard just about everything.
Understanding is all most people really want.
Maybe a solution or two.
With a dash of hope.
I will share with you the top 5 physical challenges I faced along with notes on how I tackled some of these barriers. I hope that by sharing this level of blunt detail, I might remove some obstacles or excuses for folks.
Being morbidly obese is not for the WEAK
1. Big boobs. They get in the way when I eat and sit still. Put them in motion and you are just asking for trouble. Do they make sports bras in my size?
Sports bras come in ALL sizes. Some are great and some are useless. You get what you pay for. I bought cheap sports bras in the beginning of my lifestyle change because I KNEW I would be losing weight and that they wouldn’t fit for very long.
BIG mistake. Chafing, sore back, one bra even tried to strangle me after freeing the girls MID-CLASS. Disaster. After that little episode; I bought a GREAT sports bra. 🙂
They make bonafide, athletic-quality sports bras with serious motion control and back support for G cup and larger. Invest. You won’t regret it. It will make you feel braver. 🙂
2. I carry the bulk of my weight in my torso. I have a huge belly. Walking or physical activity with any intensity? This ‘body part’ has its on inertia.
Compression clothing is your new best friend if you have a large belly or loose skin on your torso. Compression gear is supposed to be TIGHT – like swearing, sweating and struggling just to get into it. It’s worn UNDER your workout clothes and holds things in check and limits motion.
I wore tank top style compression with the strongest panels being over my belly. Bonus? Compression tanks/shirts also serve as back up for the sports bra. Compression shorts for men and women work from the bottom up. Pun intended. 🙂
3. I can’t get up and off of the ground without some serious effort and hopefully a hand rail. I barely fit hip-to-hip on the largest treadmill. Some machines or equipment have weight limits; I exceed them.
(Get your doctors permission. MAKE sure they know you are getting started with a physical activity routine and see what advice they have for you.)
Seriously… Check out weight limits on yoga balls if you doubt me. Looking for the phrase ‘burst resistant’ does NOT build confidence.
Do NOT pick the hardest thing to get started. If getting up and off the ground is difficult right now – pick an activity that doesn’t require that. Don’t set yourself up for failure or injury.
START where you are, not where you WISH you were.
My doctor told me to get started by walking, which I did. Walking was relatively gentle, could be done anywhere and was not as threatening as testing the true weight limit on a machine by accident. Her other suggestions were swimming (bathing suit. HELL NO!) or using a treadmill.
I slowly added in things that required me to move differently or stretch my boundaries a bit.
4. I have not seen my toes in years. My belly is in the way and I can’t do a sit up. I have NO stamina. I can only do 10 minutes of activity, not a full 45 minute class.
You HAVE to start somewhere.
Pick something that you will enjoy and that will make you sweat WITHOUT injury. You can add complexity, intensity once you get moving and gain confidence.
I couldn’t do sit-ups, had NO stamina, couldn’t do push-ups, couldn’t run, couldn’t bend, just getting to the gym was a freaking full-out cardio workout….
Trying exercises when you can’t fully do them felt stupid and useless.
BUT it is not. You have to get started. Do one. The next time do two. SERIOUSLY. Start THAT small. So what if anyone else is doing 10 minutes or 50 reps? Even they had to start somewhere. You just weren’t there at THEIR beginning.
Start where you are and work from there.
NO COMPARISONS.
(Except against your old self.)
Remember that you will SEE progress at some point if you stick with it. And progress — progress is magic!
DO NOT expect INSTANT.
But keep your eyes peeled for the slightest hint of progress. And celebrate the hell out of it!!!
5. Do they even make workout clothes in larger sizes? And does it have to be form-fitting spandex..? Hell.
They do make sizes 5X and larger. Some of them are really cute while being functional. Cute is NOT important in a sports bra. But cute clothes? I’m a fan of cute clothes. (With polka dots.)
Get in some comfortable clothes that let you move about freely and let you sweat.
And yes, they use a lot of Spandex.
No, it’s not to be mean. It’s so you can move.
You want your clothes to fit to your body and NOT be in the way. I was super guilty of wearing anything that resembled a tent to cover my bulk. Not sure who I thought I was fooling. Large, loose fitting clothes will actually get in your way. Trust me.
This is about clothing your body in the right ‘tools’ so you can get moving.
Those were my top 5 challenges and pretty much in the order of what I feared AND then had to learn about.
Not everyone has the same challenges, but I know from multiple conversations that these are fairly common concerns.
These issues AND the solutions are largely not talked about in the circles of obese active folks because it is just freaking embarrassing stuff to have to talk about.
This post was taunting me for weeks. And honestly, I’m still kind of cringing at seeing it all written out…
BUT if sharing these details can help someone, anyone, get past their embarrassment AND into the ‘gym’… Then I will keep sharing.
‘You don’t have to be great to start, but you have to start to be great.’ — Zig Ziglar
Running with my dear friends Wendie and Hannah at night, with headlamps! Fun!
Disneyland. Circa 2004. I was close to 350 pounds. Exhausted form all the standing and walking.
I was convinced I was too fat to exercise.
When I talk with people facing mega-weight loss this topic always emerges as one of their core frustrations, embarrassments and concerns. It was one of my core concerns, for more than a decade.
I will tackle the physical barriers in another blog. But, in my opinion, the MENTAL hurdles are just as fearsome.
So how do you get your mind to quiet down enough so that you can get your butt to the gym to get started??!
It seems to be a radically different tipping point for everyone.
My tipping point?! When I finally understood that food alone was not going to get me where I was trying to go. If I was going to control T2 diabetes, exercise had to be added.
I had to get moving.
From the point where I knew I HAD to add exercise to where I set foot in the gym? Six months. I spent six months battling the demons in my head. (List below.)
When you are obese and totally out of shape and you finally take the big, brave step to join the world of the physically active you feel VULNERABLE beyond belief.
I felt ragged and mentally exhausted before I even set foot in the ‘gym’.
(Gym?! I use the word generically to mean any place where you are going to make an effort and will BE SEEN. Walking down your street, classes at a community center, hitting your city pool.)
So what kind of thoughts were zinging around in my head for 10+ years? Here are my “I am too fat to be seen trying to exercise” thoughts:
Fat people don’t belong in the world of fit and thin people. We are not welcome and do not belong.
I am desperately afraid someone is going to mock me, laugh at me or be mean.
It will be UGLY. I am not a pretty crier. I am not a pretty ‘sweat’er.
I am beyond help. I don’t know where to start. Why bother at this point?
Thin people are disgusted by fat people. I do NOT want to see the look of pity or disgust when I wind up next to them on a treadmill at the gym.
I will have to shower after working out. Which means I have to be naked. The likelihood of having the locker room all to myself is about ZERO. Which means… Kill me now.
Did I mention I was afraid people were going to laugh at me?
Having just shared my fears… I must confess that one of my fears did play out early in my gym-going career.
Humiliating story, but I share it because the experience wound up providing me with clarity and motivation.
I had been going to the gym about a month. I was probably 325+ pounds. There were two guys on the mats near me. One guy stage-whispered to his friend; “Dude, why is she even trying? It’s not like it’s going to make a difference.”
I froze. I was the only other person around. They were talking about me. I was wounded. Mortified. Humiliated. I tried hard NOT to cry… Failed. I laid on the mats and cried once they walked away. It stung deeply for at least a week.
I had been worried people were thinking that EXACT thing about me. Someone had just proven me right.
But eventually it made me mad.
It ultimately made me more determined.
Why?! When I stopped to really think about it, I had already seen progress in the four short weeks I had been going to the gym. Almost every other person had been nice to me. My blood sugars were better than they had ever been. My pants were fitting looser. I could walk more laps on the track.
I belonged there as much as he did.
As much as anyone did.
I may have been fat, but he was a jackass.
I’m now healthy, but I bet he’s still a mean jerk.
The rest of my experiences with going to the gym? Routine.
Don’t get me wrong; The work was (still is!) hard. LOTS of sweat. Learning was scary. I had some physical challenges. I still felt totally intimidated. But really… The fears I kept rattling around in my head; were all just that. In my head.
No one cared that I was there. Really.
No one laughed, mocked or made fun of me. OK. One guy, one incident. The rest of the time?People kindly asked me if I needed help if I stood staring at a machine.
No one cared that I was fat and in ‘their space’. Seriously NO ONE was even looking at me or anyone else for that matter.
Do you want to know what happened the very FIRST time I went to the gym?
I walked into the locker room with my gym bag, looking like I was either going to cry or bolt. I am sure it was both. A woman saw my distress, waved at me and said ‘Hey – do you need help finding your locker? I did when I started here…”
She assumed I belonged. She offered to help and was friendly. Not a hint of judgement. She instantly smashed some of my long held fears to smithereens.
It cost her nothing to be kind. I valued it deeply.
Have I had bad moments, met mean people, had pointed comments made to me? YES. But the life-truth is that there are mean, ignorant people in the world, well beyond the walls of a gym. Are you going to let them stop you?!
Have I felt dumb and ill-equipped and out of my league? I have fallen off of a stationary bike. Twice. 🙂 This is where having a sense of humor and being able to laugh at yourself is KEY.
Have I wanted to quit? More times than I can count. BUT I was determined to win the war against T2 diabetes. I made friends who held me accountable and expected me to show up. FRIENDS and staying focused on your goal are key in the ‘not quitting’ process.
I thought I was too fat to exercise, but I started anyway.
(What was your tipping point? I would love to hear your success story!)
Hannah and I at the gym. Yes, this breaks some rules of civility to take selfies in the gym. It TOTALLY breaks the rules Spencer (running coach) has for us. We’re rebels. 🙂
I can talk Jeff into almost anything. And I know it. Even when it involves handing my phone to a homeless person and convincing Jeff to jump off of a wall for the sake of a picture. 🙂
Meet Jeff Sherman.
Jeff is my friend, work colleague and a trusted running partner.
He started running with me simply because he didn’t like that I was running alone in the dark, early morning. He doesn’t consider himself a runner. (He is.) The first run or two (or 10) were a true testament of our friendship. Let’s just say that he wasn’t a big fan of running and he found ways to express his opinion using creative language. 🙂
We have run together a ton this past year. Jeff has patiently taken the time to teach me a few important life skills. Among the most useful skills for running? Snot rockets and spitting WITH the wind. (There is at least one other thing you should do WITH the wind as well…) 🙂
He’s like the brother I never had and have ALWAYS wanted. He tells me the truth, even when I really don’t want to hear it. He always helps me out and only sometimes does it include a lecture.
He is also one of a very small handful of people who knew me at my heaviest and who RUNS with me now. He has seen the transformation over the years. He knew me as a full-blown diabetic. He knows how hard I have worked – first to manage the disease and then finally to reverse it. He’s heard the questions I get asked, the comments that get made. He has seen me when I am struggling to learn something new. And he has been there at more than a few finish lines/special life moments where I was on top of the WORLD!
Take it away Jeff…
When Betsy said, “would you write a blog?” My first comment was sarcastic…
‘My thoughts already work like a blog— words in disarray with pictures. PERFECT!’
The truth is—this is harder than it looks, but I am so proud of Betsy for putting her journey out to the world. So, of course I am so excited to contribute.
And, it’s a blog—so obviously the grammar is not perfect and my ideas are not based on research! I love this.
For context, a few points about our friendship, because I hear all the time, “You know Betsy Hartley?:
I do know Betsy! She began working in higher education when I began as a true freshman in College (2005).
She can (and will) talk me into anything. See #3.
I did not like running when I began RUNNING with Betsy. We have been running together for a year.
She is my inspiration for maintaining a healthy lifestyle and a positive outlook on life.
Betsy and I (and the friends/family around us) are genuinely happy people. We know that everyone has baggage and crap, but I am specifically going to write about the things we do to keep the positivity flowing:
Smile and laugh. A lot.
Smiling is easy (flex those cheeks… 🙂 ) and laughter is CONTAGIOUS. Notice the picture below? We laugh all the time.
So much so that we are avoided by one particular person at the gym who can’t stand happy people. (If I was typing on my iPhone I would add a shrugging emoji icon).
No matter where we have been in our life journeys, fitness, other struggles, etc. The smiles are the genuine.
Betsy is awesome for MANY reasons. But, I think the most central awesomeness component, is that she genuinely cares about people.
I will give an example: newcomers in the gym generally feel overwhelmed, especially if they are alone (see point 4), she will be the person who goes out of her way to introduce herself, smile, and learn the person’s name.
An upcoming blog from Betsy will have more about her journey in the gym.
It costs nothing to be nice to people.
Try to avoid comparing your journey with someone else’s. (Or, in Betsy language: eat your own damn elephant).
Once I realized I would never be a six foot tall Men’s Health Magazine Cover model, it made working out more fun. And, there is a whole lot less pressure.
“Comparison is the thief of joy” –Betsy Hartley
Find an activity AND PEOPLE you like – get moving!
Honestly, being active with friends is the most fun for me.
Like I said before, Betsy is my motivation to stay active, and she keeps me accountable. Find friends like that.
Also, if you are newer to fitness: I have found the buddy system makes me more relaxed in the gym, feel safer trail-running (especially in the dark-ass mornings that Betsy runs), and provide a supportive environment to ask the tough questions about life in general.
Hopefully, this short little extroverted ramble was helpful for someone.
In closing: smile more, sit less, encourage others, and find great people to be active with!
Size 28 pants. They don’t fit anymore. And I plan to keep it that way. 🙂
“How do you get through the holidays and not gain weight?”
I have been asked this question more than a dozen times this past week alone.
The Thanksgiving Holiday is the official start of an entire eating season. 🙂
This is my fourth Thanksgiving (roughly 1,200+ days) with my new eating habits. So what is my strategy for staying active and eating healthy during our food-obssessed Holiday season?
I create and stick to a plan.
My plan for this Holiday season is not very sexy/cool/fun. It’s simple and straight forward. If you have ever gone on a diet of any kind, you’ve heard most of the tips I now rely on.
The specific strategies aren’t the point. The point is that I have a plan. And I follow the plan to the best of my ability.
So, what is my plan for Thanksgiving?
Activity. I am going for a run. I will work up a sweat. No, I am NOT exercising SO I can eat more. I am exercising to be healthy and live a balanced life. Exercise is a habit and a choice. I don’t skip it just because it’s a Holiday.
I wear snug, bordering on uncomfortably tight clothing to the meal. NOT gonna feel like over-eating if my pants are already cutting me in half.
I take along foods I know I want to eat, and that fit with my food lifestyle.
Good conversations, games, distractions. It should never be all about food.
I keep a flavored/favorite water on hand and TANK ON IT.
Eat a normal breakfast.
Load my plate with veggies and salad and fill up on that FIRST.
This is NOT the only meal of the day. NOT the only meal of the year. It’s not like I couldn’t make/get ANY of this stuff, ANY time. Don’t let perceived scarcity/specialness lure me into eating more than I intended.
Fruit for dessert.
When I am done eating, but I am tempted to graze? I chew sugar free cinnamon gum. Kills the taste buds. (I chew a LOT of cinnamon gum.)
I told you; nothing earth-shattering in my plan. Probably all things you have heard before.
HAVING a plan and sticking to it is really the point. (And having a pack of SF cinnamon gum. Don’t forget the gum.)
Sums up the feeling I had on the first day of NO SHOTS. 🙂
‘How did you reverse T2 Diabetes?’
July 2011 marked the start of a MAJOR life change to reverse type 2 diabetes.
I weighed 285. I was taking 3 shots a day, 7 oral meds. I was considered well-controlled in the world of T2 diabetics.
This part of the story is hard to write simply because it was so wild.
I had a basic goal, but no real, detailed plan. I didn’t care. I was learning as I moved forward. If I waited for a concrete plan, for the moment I was totally comfortable with all of the details, I never would have started.
To the casual observer, my journey had to have looked like a total shit show.
But it was MY shit show.
The next 3+ years would be a frantic, chaotic, successful, mess.
I was finally ready to do the work needed to make changes. A much different feeling than the forced enthusiasm and hope that were present when I usually started a new diet.
This was different.
Entirely different. This was soul-deep and relentless and essential. This time I was not driven by fear or despair or guilt.
My desire to LIVE was finally bigger than my fears.
My only goal was to reverse T2 diabetes.
Focused on that thought alone, I picked ideas that provoked and energized me:
Reverse T2 diabetes. Get RID of it.
Choice between managing blood sugar or losing weight? Blood sugar. Every time.
I was not doing this to please anyone. This was about saving my own life.
No excuses. None. I was going to OWN my journey.
No whining.
Give 100% effort.
Stay open-minded about solutions.
Think long-term lifestyle shift. New habits, not quick fixes.
Then I spent 3+ years learning all I could about food, exercise and myself.
I eventually got down to a handful of ideas that continue to work;
Let true belly-hunger be my guide.
Keep working to have a peaceful relationship with and around food.
Exercise will be a habit and a priority in my life.
Stay focused on the healthiest, smartest food choices for my needs and goals.
I have a small handful of people in my life to whom I remain accountable. They have unconditional permission to remind me to get back on track.
Food is fuel. Not a reward.
Say no to social situations where food will be an issue for me.
‘You have come too far to take orders from a cookie.’
I needed to share this background with you. This was the foundation that had to be built if I was going to be successful in reversing T2. I absolutely HAD to cement lifestyle changes for this to work long-term.
“HOW did I reverse T2?”
I talked to my doc and told her my plan; I was going to get off insulin and reverse T2 by eating less and moving more.
She sent me away for 3 months to lose weight, learn how to move more. I KNOW full well she was genuinely skeptical that I would stick with it. I never had before.
I worked hard and then showed her proof of my commitment.
I went back to see her with improved numbers, weighing less, signed up for a 10K with my friend Hannah. I showed her my food journals.
I wasn’t screwing around. I wanted off insulin. She could help me or I would figure it out myself. I told her that, in those exact words. Then I asked her what the plan was.
‘OK. You really are serious. Here’s our plan…”
Getting off of all meds would take close to 2 years.
We decreased insulin in small increments weekly over many months. It was NOT a fast process. I would decrease the daily bolus then we would watch my daily fasting numbers for 10 days or so. IF my numbers stayed steady I could decrease the bolus again… Repeat process.
There were periods of 25+ days where I could not decrease the dosage. I wasn’t losing weight, my diet wasn’t tight enough, I had been sick or maybe I wasn’t exercising consistently. I would figure out the issue, work to get it corrected and we would start the process of decreasing dosages again.
At one point it finally dawned on me that I was trading one drug (Lantus, Metformin, Byetta) for another (food and exercise).
STAYING off diabetes meds would rely TOTALLY on ME maintaining serious lifestyle changes.
At the same time that I was eating better and working my way off of insulin, I started MOVING more. I was a hot, sweaty, mess. All the time. I didn’t care what I looked like working out, or what anyone thought of me. I was starting to see the scale and my glucose readings drop. Seeing results strengthened my resolve and dedication.
I started learning to run. I bought a bike. I met the Gums. I started lifting weights. I met Spencer, my running coach. I was buying REAL running shoes and then actually running in them. 🙂
And then the days I had been working for finally began to arrive…
February 2012 I was OFF insulin.
May 2013 I was off of all meds.
This past October my Doc said the most incredible words…
You are no longer diabetic.
She gave me a hug. Told me I could put my glucose testing kit in a drawer. I weighed 164 and BMI was ‘normal’.
My HgbA1c was the lowest it had ever been. We were both proudest of that single number; it was ALL because of diet and exercise. It reflected my lifestyle change. I had chased a low HgbA1c for over a decade and FINALLY caught it.
I left her office and went out to my car.
Bawled for about 10 minutes.
The odds had been against me. BIG time. I had purposely ignored that fact for several years. It was finally hitting me.
But the BEST feeling of all??? Knowing I had developed solid habits that I could use to keep healthy and active for the rest of my life.
I got home. Hugged and chatted with my dad. Ate a healthy dinner. Got up early the next morning to go for a run with Hannah and Spencer.
Story continued…
(You thought this was THE END? Hell no! I am JUST getting started.)
Out for a run. On trails. Typical these days. Gratefully, thankfully, will-not-take-it-for-granted typical. 🙂
Meet Josh and Wendie Gum!
We met three years ago. These two were the first people I met that had lost weight the exact same way I was approaching it. They had made sweeping changes. They embraced and were loving their healthy lifestyle. It was like MAGIC to find these two! I felt profound relief, an overwhelming rush of gratitude. Dumb luck or fate? Who cares!? I had JUST stumbled into a new set of friends who GOT what I was trying to do! They had information, ideas, energy, passion and were 100% supportive.
As I got to know them I realized not only had they adopted the lifestyle I was chasing, BUT they also happened to be optimistic, compassionate, generous, fabulous human beings on top of it all…
I asked Josh if he would write about the journey he and Wendie have been on. Please read on to learn more about the dynamic duo I am blessed to call friends.
My way is not the shortcut, and the journey has been worth every bit the effort. – Josh Gum
It seems that from nearly every angle you’ll be told there are easier ways, you can take a pill, or follow a specific diet, and in a few short weeks you’ll have lost all that unwanted fat! Well that sounds simple.. why wouldn’t you jump right on board and get started?! I did. I did this many times, and failed to reach my ultimate goal every single time. Before I figured out what works for me, I failed at every shortcut that I could find.. and I regained my initial weight plus interest.
One of the most laughable shortcuts I ever took was a pill that supposedly bound to the fat in the food you eat, and helped to “pass it through” your body before it could be stored on your body. Some point after having taken the pill, at a moments notice I would need to be no less than 25 yards from the nearest bathroom. Sounds ridiculous? It was. I took a shortcut once that was a “cookie diet”.. that’s no joke. You buy this product with some prepackaged cookies, and you eat them for nearly every meal. These were not cheap cookies, either. I remember they left me satisfied for maybe a week or two.. but after the novelty wore off, they started to taste horrible and ultimately I added another tick on the failure scoreboard.
While a lot of people find success with Weight Watchers, it still turned out to be somewhat of a shortcut for me. I got very good at calculating points, and eating much less food than I should, because the type of food I wanted to eat would account for a bulk of my daily allowance. I sabotaged my day before it was even half over. Over time, one thing would lead to another and I found myself grazing through the candy bowls in the office, or picking up fast food on my way home after work.
Thorough my twenties I was quite successful at eliminating as much physical activity as I could on a daily basis. I’d guess that my weight didn’t climb as fast as it could have because of the weekend hikes that my wife, Wendie, and I would take at Silver Falls State Park. Despite our efforts, as the years went by, my pants crept up past size 42. Sometime near the end of 2009, the highest weight I remember seeing on the scale was 325lbs. At a routine appointment with my doctor, I remember him telling me, again, that I need to take my health and weight seriously. He was ready to diagnose me as hypertensive and to put me on blood pressure medicine. I was told, point blank, that this is not a diagnosis that he wants to put on my records and that it would follow me around forever. I had been living with chronic pain for several years, I had a back surgery to repair a bulging lumbar disc, and I was battling with depression related to it all. My twenties were kicking my ass, and for all the wrong reasons.
There are no shortcuts to any place worth going. – Beverly Sills
On my Thirtieth birthday, I stated to my wife that I was going to make a change and that my thirties were going to be the time that I finally became healthy. Three months passed, and a I finally took the hardest step.. the first one. Wendie joined in, and this time we were going to ignore every shortcut that had lead to failure in the past. This time we were going old-school; we were going to eat healthy foods and exercise on a daily basis. A super simple concept, and yet, the hardest thing I’ve ever done. Over the past five years, I’ve maintained a weight loss of 110lbs, and Wendie has lost 80lbs! With our new lease on life, and our remodeled fitness we’ve been training for and completing many athletic goals that neither of us would have ever dreamt of otherwise.
For weight loss, shortcuts tend to set people up for failure and dependency on a particular regimen or product. Long term success in managing my weight was the result of educating myself on what a healthy diet is, and the hard work of consistently making the right choices.
I love this truism. Fabulous reminder that to accomplish fantastically big things, you simply break them down into a bunch of LITTLE pieces.
That is how you clean your house. Plan for a big event. Earn a college degree.
And it’s exactly how you would go about eating an elephant.
Triple digit weight loss staring you in the face… Desperate to reverse a disease that has had you in a stranglehold for 10+ years… You have to THINK small, start small. The big picture can quickly overwhelm you into submission before you even get started.
I remember the intense anxiety and fledgling bravado I felt when I finally decided to own the idea that I was going to lose 200+ pounds and tackle T2 diabetes. I was desperately tired of being fat. I wanted OFF of insulin. And I knew, had been told multiple times, had dug up the research; odds were overwhelmingly against me being successful with either endeavor.
A freaking elephant was charging straight for me.
I remember thinking panicky, repetitive, self-defeating thoughts when I was trying to make the mental leap to start fighting for my life;
No way in hell is this actually going to happen. BUT I have to start. T2 diabetes is going to kill me. Start or die. Those are my choices. Damn. My choices suck.
I don’t think I even weighed less than 160 pounds when I was born. (Sorry mom.) That’s my ‘goal weight’?!
I have to lose more than what MOST people ever weigh.
This will take YEARS.
I have to change everything. EVERY SINGLE THING.
What if I can’t beat diabetes? What if I have done too much damage to my body?
What if it is TRUE that once you go on injectable insulin you are screwed? It’s all over. You can never lose weight.
Do I know anyone who has lost a huge amount of weight and kept it off? Anyone?(Crickets.)
Do I know anyone who has reversed T2 diabetes? (Crickets. Again.)
No one understands how hard this is going to be. NO ONE. HOLY CRAP. I am alone.
Food. Oh no… Food. Why does this have to involve food?
Exercise? Are you freaking kidding me?! Wear Spandex in front of PEOPLE? No way… That alone WILL kill me.
WHERE do I even begin? (Panic. Tears. Shame.)
Once I get started I can never, ever, stop… This is for the REST OF MY LIFE.
Repeat cycle. Re-inforce negative thinking. Talk yourself out of taking action because you can’t really do this…
THEN… Then I went to lunch with my friend Jennifer Vina.
I was at the point where the idea of mega-weight loss and abolishing diabetes and getting healthy was fighting hard to become stronger than my list of fears. (Or if I am being a drama queen, sappy, happy my reflection on that time is that my desire to LIVE was finally becoming stronger than my fear of dying…)
Anyway, I remember verbally vomiting all over Jennifer. Confiding in her what I really wanted to do in an unorganized, frantic, tear-filled fashion. I was finally saying this out loud to another person. She listened to it all. Then she made me write everything down. How much I weighed. What I wanted to lose. How long it would take. Precise dates. What would happen if I lost a pound a week? No fears allowed. No hedging. Unwavering encouragement. She gently, but pointedly, forced me to think about what I wanted and exactly how to get there.
She SHOWED me how to eat the elephant.
I left with my plan written down on a napkin. And a huge life-gift. She had convinced me I could do it. I could do ANYTHING. I just had to break it down… It was the first time I felt that this might all be possible. My confidence would come and go, many, many times. Still does to be honest. BUT this first hint of confidence was amazing!
‘You just have to start. Then don’t stop. Just don’t stop.’ (Her simple encouragement has morphed into one of my consistent running mantras when things get tough.)
Jennifer and her first-born in her arms. First time I got to meet the little one!
Everyone’s start and progress and success looks different – even if we are trying to eat the same weight loss/T2 diabetes elephant.
PLEASE take a moment to acknowledge that idea.
The biggest tensions I have had with people about my journey is that they think that’s what theirs should look like. That is NOT how this works. NOT at all.
YOU have to own your own journey and success and work. Don’t compare. I learned the hard way that comparisons are useless, painful and demoralizing. Own your journey. This has to be about finding what works for you.
Eat your own damn elephant. 🙂
If you want to try someone’s idea or habit to see if it will fit/work for you? Solid idea! I do it all the time. COMPARING? Not good. Not at all. Just to be clear.
In case one of these ideas seems like something you might want to try ‘on’ for yourself to see if it might work, this is how I got started:
Wrote down the facts, goals, roughed-out plans. Writing it down made it real and made it not so danged scary.
I told a handful of good friends. I reached out to the people who had watched me try and fail repeatedly and loved me anyway. I called them and said ‘I’m doing this – I’m serious…” Wade, Hannah, Liz, Deb, Anneke. I asked them to stick with me. I asked for permission to check in. Gave them permission to check in with me. I promised to not be defensive.
I got approval from my doctor. I was morbidly obese and a T2 diabetic. Turns out when a patient expresses a firm desire and has a plan of action to try to get their health back; docs are SUPER supportive.
I picked ONE thing at a time to work on. Small things. Drinking more water. Writing down my food. Going for a walk each day. I picked one healthy habit and worked on it until I was comfortable that it wouldn’t go away. Then I picked a new one to learn.
One last story or caveat… 🙂 When tackling lifestyle changes, do NOT try to make a ton of changes all at the same time. I tried that. Gung-ho, ready to fight and change my life. But making ALL of the sweeping changes at one time was a TOTAL disaster. It was simply TOO much change, too shocking. I had a major, epic, short-lived meltdown. Wade took my frantic call and STRONGLY suggested that maybe we should focus on just ONE thing at a time... ‘Let’s just take one concrete, healthy thing at a time. And freaking BREATHE Bets. Just breathe.’ 🙂
ONE bite at a time. Just one, small bite at a time…
‘What is your secret to losing weight and reversing type 2 diabetes?’
One of the top 5 question I get asked. Right up there with ‘Do you wear underwear with your bike shorts?’ (No, BTW… More in another post.)
I hate to be the killjoy… But there is no secret to losing weight.
None.
No one seems to want to hear the honest answer. They think they do until I tell them. Then they typically shake their head, cross their arms and tell me why it can not work for them…
Eat less. Move more.
This honest, simple answer is NOT the sexy, cool, fun, easy answer people are hoping to hear. But it IS the answer.
I looked for the ‘secret’ for years. I tried everything I could to avoid the answer I knew was looming there all along…
EAT LESS CRAP and GET YOUR BUTT MOVING.
What do I think about this pill, commercial programs complete with packaged food, or elimination of entire food groups? They are all gimmicks or lies or at best, half-truths. Sorry. Marketers and businesses are savvy and they know people desperately want promises of lasting success with very little work needed. Magic sells a whole hell of a lot better than hard work.
I also get asked for my thoughts on gastric bypass surgery. My doctor pushed me to consider it. My BMI was 61. I was the ideal candidate physically. In the process of learning more about it, I began to understand surgery was not going to solve my problem. Surgery could not really fix WHY I got fat. If I was going to lose weight and KEEP IT OFF, I had to start with changing my brain and life-long habits. Surgery was not for me.
My complete overhaul started in July 2011. I started eating less and making smarter food choices. Ditched fast food. Measured portions. Counted calories. Wrote down everything I ate. Sweets were banned. (It remains a trigger for me; this continues to be a self-imposed restriction.) Leaner cuts of meat. Quit eating in my car. Being intentional and mindful about my eating experiences. Then, when the weight started to come off, I started walking. Walking. Walking. Basic stuff.
All of this becomes vastly more complicated when you include T2 diabetes in the mix.
While working to lose weight, get off of insulin and cement new habits I still had lows or highs that HAD to be adjusted. We were being VERY careful with the ‘exit plan’ for getting off of insulin, but I had been warned ‘wild’ blood sugars were going to happen. The adjustments I needed to make sometimes threw my entire eating and activity plan for the day out the window. It was intensely frustrating and confusing at times. Going back to my old ways was a seriously appealing idea on more than a few occasions. Not gonna lie.
I remember trying to run one time when I was low. I didn’t want to eat the carbs/calories I needed to adjust my blood sugar. In my mind, I hadn’t ‘saved’ enough calories for even a handful of jelly beans that day. I refused to skip the run; I was starting to really love running. And I really, really didn’t want to have to explain all of this to Spencer, my brand-new running coach.
I showed up cranky and disoriented and argumentative. My running partners, Josh and Joe, quickly figured out I was low. The way I remember the incident is that they threatened to shove jelly beans somewhere jelly beans didn’t belong if I did not immediately and voluntarily eat some sugar. The jelly beans put me over my calorie allotment for the day. I was pissed at my predicament and slightly pissed at them for making me correct it. I was worried about calories and weight loss which is the last thing I, the diabetic, should have been worried about with out-of-whack blood glucose. They were right. I was wrong. I am extremely lucky they were looking out for me.
It turned out to be a really, really good lesson in diabetes management and friendship.
Joe Van V., Tour de Cure 2014 for Diabetes. Joe was my training partner for an endurance Tri/Duathlon and Century. (100 mile bike ride!) He’s a FREAKING Ironman!Josh Gum, the man who put the idea of an Ultra in my head close to 3 years ago. Ironman and badass ultra runner. Josh and his wife Wendie have each lost a lot of weight, kept it off and embraced an entirely new, healthy lifestyle and mind set in the process.
Managing all of these pieces is hard to do. No doubt about it. Eat less. Move more. Manage blood sugar. There are NO secrets or shortcuts. While that kind of sucks — it’s also a form of freedom if you choose to view it that way…
There no absolutes about what life and a path to success looks like on a daily basis with diabetes in the mix. That’s OK! Stay focused on getting it as right as you can, as often as you can with what works best FOR YOU.
I was upset at having to correct a bad low in the middle of the night with soda and candy early on my journey to get off of insulin. I saw this as a total defeat in my effort to revamp my eating. Even though all I was doing was adjusting a low… (Low blood sugar brain can be really mean and snarky!) Once my blood sugar was normal and my brain was working again my dad told me:
“Get this as right as you, as often as you can. You’ll make progress. Re-focus on the very next step you need to take to reach your bigger goal. You are doing all the right things. Your body just has to figure out how to work with you now that you are getting healthy.”
There is no secret. I’m really sorry to burst your bubble.
This business of losing weight and cementing the habits needed to keep it off is some of the hardest work you will ever do.
And as it turns out, some of the best, most rewarding work you will ever do.
all bets are off... 