‘You have no idea what it’s like to fight your weight…’
I joined a conversation with two coworkers. They introduced me to the 3rd person in their group. As I walked up they were talking about losing weight and exercising. They were chattering loudly about how hard it all was to make it work, where to start and how to stick to it. I didn’t say anything right off, but I eventually piped in. I said something generic about eating less and moving more…
The woman I had just met kind of eyeballed me and said ‘You obviously have no idea what it’s like to have to fight your weight…’
I literally choked on my coffee and sputtered/snorted/cackled. VERY ladylike and polite. 🙂
Here are the thoughts that zipped through my head:
First: A chance to talk about lasting lifestyle changes. Eat less. Move more… Open door… Walk through it!
Second: Lightly stunned. Someone threw judgement out verbally at someone they had JUST met. Mentally, we all do that kind of judging and assessing crap – even if we don’t want to admit to it. But she said it out loud. (Says the woman who notoriously has a broken filter… 🙂 )
Third: WOW! GREAT reminder. EVERY single person we meet has a history, a battle, a fight, a problem, a triumph, a story, that WE KNOW NOTHING ABOUT. Things are not always how they look. What was this woman’s story??! What was going on…?
Fourth: ASS is a key part of the word assumption.
Fifth: This woman has no idea that I wake up every morning still convinced I weigh 392 pounds and that it takes me a minute or two to realize I’m not that person anymore… Every. Single. Day.
How was I going to tell this woman I just met — “You are more wrong that you can possibly even begin to understand” and do it kindly?
I smiled and quietly said ‘Oh, but I really, really do get it…’
She responded with a shrug and slight eye roll that I took to mean ‘ yeah… right… whatever….’
I quickly told her the basics; I reversed type 2 diabetes. Got off all injections/meds. Lost 220 pounds. FOUGHT like a freaking-possessed-maniac to learn how to run and love exercise. LOVE where my life has taken me. Fight for it each and every day. Fight for it with EACH and every food choice. FIGHT for it each and every day when I decide to get out of bed and meet my friends at the gym or go for a run.
She said ‘ok… so maybe you do kind of get it… tell me more…”
We’re going to grab coffee this next week.
I want to hear her story.
Soapbox warning. 🙂
I’ve been stewing on this exchange and my thoughts about it for over a week.
I knew there was a bigger lesson buried in there for me, if I wanted to figure it out.
I decided that this whole conversation was really a GREAT big reminder for me about the bigger picture of life.
Everyone I meet is hurting and battling something. Or more than one, single something.
Everyone has something in their background, their back story, that has shaped them into who they are today.
Not all of it is visible. Not all of it is public. Some of it is happening right before our eyes.
I need to go easy on our fellow humans.
I need to ask more questions and listen carefully.
And I have to QUIT assuming if I want people to quit assuming things about me…
There is always more than the eye can see.